FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
