Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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