good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
