i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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