and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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