I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
