i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize