i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
