I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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