I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
