operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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