everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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