Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
