You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
