is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm experimenting with sincerity
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
