so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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