Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
