Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
