i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's shark week go big or go home
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
