You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
