I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
