Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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