Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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