Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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