Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
