Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
