Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
