He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Who died my cat blue again?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
