I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think my moral compass just broke
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
