why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
