first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize