conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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