We won't sleep together?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
