i just google imaged poop.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My breasts were aching with rage.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
