i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize