The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how can u be prego again
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
