How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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