But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
