idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
