how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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