Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
