Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I could fuck to npr.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
