Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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