Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
