there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
