She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
