I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
