I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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