New low: just hacked my moms facebook
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
