so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
