Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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