He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
