My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
