FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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