Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
