I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
