He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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