need another drink. this is the easiest way
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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